Summer holidays?

Summer holidays for school kids is normally 45 days in my country. I had 48 days with my beautiful girl...was it her summer holiday visting me and she needed to go back home?

The summer holidays packed with fun and joy! It's so difficult to let it go ... in fact I do not have to let it go, right? all the wonderful memories are real and I will treasure it forever! I just miss the fun time together and want more and more time together...
the harsh reality is she has gone and I can not touch, cuddle, play, and take care of her any more.. I just hope that she will come back to me before too long.

I talk to the star... I think she can hear me. Only my wish now is that she is happy and having great time over there. she is really happy gal, always on the move, so curious, always discover something new, so energetic, runs around and pant like a dog... the sound of pant...i can still hear...so funny. she was excellent jumper! wow she could jump so high even she was a 2 month baby she was jumping around chair and cabinet... her baby brother watch her from the floor with envy.. She is fearless and try anything ...but only 2 things she was shy...shy?... she isnt shy at all... so what are the 2 things? haha... 1. even she reached to the food first, when her brother jump queue, she let him eat first ... so unexpected ya!...she always lead her baby brother but this... 2. she is shy around 2 other older cats! her brother is not shy arond them at all but she keep distance and when accidentary come too close, she pose surrender, ha ha so funny. other than that she is always the leader of the adventure... full of life, energy, and spirit.

Wow, she is stunningly beautiful girl...
when I went to meet kittens at the breeder, I had no intention to adopt them coz I already have enough...but when I saw her...wooooooowwww ...she is just so irresistably pretty and I thought i must have her, 2 kittens can play together and keep company to each others, so it's very good. I was totally over the moon.

How lovely to wake up in the morning to find her behind the curtain with her baby brother. they yorn and come out ... time for breakfast! play with water, toys, ice-cubics in the water, chasing each other all around the living room. try to get her share of can food from older cats. pulling plants, jumping so skillfully to the kitchen counter (only 3 month kitty can jump so good), jumping on to the curtain, watching yellow fish, try to bother me when i cut lace or doing needle work, exploring higher and higher location each day (1st to chair, and then to a round coarner table with turn table on it, then to piano, to shose cabinet...it has been so wonderful to see them grow day by day. well, i was very busy... because she try to bite the plants which are not good for cats, I needed to move them to higher and higher place each day, but she became able to jump higher and higher each day, so finally I need to move them out to the balconee. made cover for this and that, placed net to all the windows...coz she can jump jump jump.

Now, 18 days have passed, i dont cry the whole day any more and I can eat, but still remember her and attacked by a sudden emotion of sadness every morning, the time I spent with her and had lots of memories, when she was only 2 months, she jumped into the toilet bawl and I needed to shampoo and dry her...it was so funny.... and I made sure to close the toilet lid at all times, when I go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet bawl, she swiftly jump on to my laps, the jump is so light and i feel soft hair and light body on my lap and like a soft cotton ball on my lap, feeling so happy. I used to put her on my left shoulder and walk around the house,,,she reached her hand to touch anything come in contact, such as hanging fabrics... it was so funny, i deliberately go back and forth to see how she try to catch the fabric...she was full of fun!!! she is so light and her hair so soft... I can not forget that touch...the feelings... the laughter! I treasure all the memories...

I am much better during the day... but from time to time, such as when I am taking a train... i am not talking to anyone...so my mind wonder around and start to think about her and tear flow into my eyes. I know my friends want me to recover and carry on with the life soon, they tell me to forget about her... I know they want me to feel better... but forgetting her...well, it's just not gonna happen. I shall not worry the length of my sadness, her baby brother make me happy and the time will heal me...some how I know...so... I shall not rush ... It is ok to be sad... i accept my being sad and I think it's not too bad, because it means I love her so much and that I had such a wonderful time with her. it's the reflection of how much I adore her and treasure the time and memories with her. I just wait for the time to heal me. no rush. I thanks her so much for giving me such happiness even though it was so short, just like a summer vacation. I treasure the memories with her. hopefully, when she get bored in the heaven, she can come back to me again later. When that happens, I will be so careful never this accident happen again. I've been thinking what is the message from her... i can think of some... so I will make them happen.